Ever had that feeling of being trapped in a haze, trying to find the way through the overgrown bushes? If that’s a yes, you might be finding it hard to navigate your life in a way that feels right to you. Ahhhh! Which way do I go? Is it up, is it down, is it left or is it right?
You may feel confused within your thoughts, your actions, a certain aspect of your life, or you are just feeling unclear with what you want from life altogether. You’re not alone. Finding clarity is not easy. You might be confused by what your purpose is, perhaps in your career or on a broader scale. You might be questioning your relationship, or how you might find true love that you have been yearning for. You could be feeling unsatisfied with the ‘picture-perfect’ life you are living. These are just some examples of how some of my clients feel when they start. I would also be the first to admit that I have also experienced most of the above at various points in my life.
We live in a high-pressure world where expectations from ourselves and others often reach unmanageable levels. We are pushed through a ‘conveyer belt’ when we are young that doesn’t fit the needs of our authentic Self (It sure didn’t fit me.) Then, before we know it, we find ourselves living a life we didn’t fully choose. Perhaps some of us might ask ourselves one day: How did that happen? And can I do anything about it? (The answer is yes, by the way, so keep reading!)
Questioning why you are stuck in your life
If you are starting to wonder why you feel unclear or stuck in your life, I am pleased that you are. This is the beginning of taking control of yourself, which will help you come closer to what you truly want and deserve in life. You may have ended up living a life that doesn’t quite feel right to your deepest self because of many reasons. It could be to do with the system you have been brought into. It may be to do with certain world views that you have taken on without question. It could be that your family of origin had certain ideas on how you ‘should’ live your life, and as a result, expected you to adopt the same views and attitudes towards certain things that are theirs and not yours.
But what do YOU really think, feel and want from your life? I have worked with many people who have never really thought about questioning their ‘conditioning.’ Everyone is unique, but it is important to reflect on what you believe in and who you truly are and want to be.
To get to a place where you are living with clarity and are aligned with your authentic Self is not always an easy journey. You will need to go back to go forward. You will need to undo certain things in your life.
Undoing things in your life is much more challenging than learning something new. Yet there is good news, because once you undo certain beliefs, choices or habits you may have developed, it frees up so much space within you that you will find yourself evolving in ways you could have never imagined.
How do you become unstuck in your life?
But how do you do this? How do you become un-stuck?
As a first step, it is important to identify certain patterns, choices and habits that you have or that you are living that do not serve you. Start by closing your eyes and taking in some deep breaths, and identify where these energies lie within your body. From this point, you need to face them by reflecting deeply on how they impact you, and most importantly, where they have been born from.
I am going to give you an example to help you get a better understanding. As a child, I always found school challenging. Not so much the social part, but the learning part. I always felt like I couldn’t focus and learn in the way my classmates did, and I didn’t know why. I never understood what the teachers asked us to do, and I found following basic instructions incredibly hard. I got into trouble quite a lot because the teachers were always frustrated with me. It turns out that I have a severe type of dyslexia. Unfortunately, I was only tested for this when I was seventeen, so my lack of self-confidence was quite embedded by then.
I have my parents to thank for turning this around. They helped a lot with my learning, so I got some relatively decent grades under my belt when I left for higher education. But that didn’t matter to me, because the damage was already done. I told myself I was a failure, and I’ve been telling myself that until recently — just before I became a Transformational Life Coach, in fact.
I needed to work hard with this ‘I am a failure’ belief, which manifested itself into a pattern that had immense power in my life. It was constantly in the driver’s seat. When I became an adult, I was interested in many things, but I had this overwhelming belief that I was going to fail. Therefore, I always started things but never finished them for fear of failure. Of course, this just contributed to an even greater downfall for my confidence and self-esteem.
Enrolling in a Transformational Coaching workshop was the point in my life where it all changed. I realised this particular unhealthy pattern of mine. As a result, I dove into deep reflection and self-development work to counter this “I am a failure” belief/pattern. It was a Transformational Life Coach who supported me to identify where, when and how this belief/pattern was born, and they helped me connect with the feelings attached to it.
The second step you need to take is to connect (again perhaps by closing your eyes and taking some deep breaths) with the most powerful parts of yourself, so that you can discover where these energies lie in your body. That is, where do you show up in a way that feels great to you and is aligned with who you truly are? It could be as small (and significant) as when you are doing yoga, or when you are being a good friend to someone. It could be you at your work. If you are a parent, it could be when you are in full action with your children. This unique place in you is the key to releasing the other parts of yourself that might be stuck in patterns, beliefs or habits that don’t serve you — for example, the ‘I am a failure’ or ‘I am not enough’ beliefs.
The third step is connecting these two parts of yourself in order to create a new story with belief patterns that DO serve you. Once you have identified these two areas, you can access the wisdom that is within the most powerful parts of yourself. Here you can discover the parts of you that are stuck in a negative mindset, and you can learn to let go of this and manifest something new.
This takes time and effort, of course, and is best done with a professional who knows how to guide you toward clarity and a deeper knowing of your authentic Self.
Contact me for a free 30 min consultation to see if Transformational Life Coaching is for you.