Ever had that feeling of total haziness, trying to find that light through the overgrown bushes? If that’s a yes, you might be finding it hard to navigate your life in a way that feels right to you. Ahhhh, which way do I go? Is it up, is it down, is it left or is it right?
You may feel unclear within your thoughts, your actions, a certain thing in your life or simply just feeling quite unclear with what you want from life altogether. You’re not alone, trust me. Finding clarity is not easy. You might be confused by what your purpose is, perhaps in your career or on a broader scale. You might be questioning the relationship you’re in or how you might find true love that you might be yearning for. You might be feeling flat and low in the ‘picture perfect’ life you are living yet it doesn’t feel even near to good, let alone what it might look like… These are just some examples of how some of my clients I work with feel when they start working with me and I’d be the first to admit that I have also experienced most of the above in various points in my life.
The things is, we live in a very high pressured world where some expectations that have been put on us or we have put on ourselves are of an unreachable level. We are pushed through a ‘conveyer belt’ system when we are young that doesn’t fit the needs of many of us (it sure didn’t fit me) and then before we know it, we find ourselves living a life that we feel we didn’t fully choose and then perhaps some of us might ask ourselves one day, how did that happen…and we may feel very unclear about what and if we can do anything about it!? (The answer is yes by the way, keep reading)! If you are starting to give thought about why you may feel unclear or stuck in a part of your life, I am pleased that you are because this is the beginning of taking control of yourself which will help you come closer to what you really want and deserve in life.
You may have ended up living a life that doesn’t quite feel right to your deepest self because of many reasons but it could be to do with the system you have been pushed through, it could be to do with certain world views that you have taken on without question, it could be that your family of origin had certain ideas on how you ‘should’ live your life and as a result expected you to adopt the same views and attitudes towards certain things that are theirs and not yours. But what do YOU really think, feel and want from your life? You may have ended up living a life that doesn’t quite feel right to your deepest self because of many reasons but it could be to do with the system you have been pushed through, it could be to do with certain world views that you have taken on without question, it could be that your family of origin had certain ideas on how you ‘should’ live your life and as a result expected you to adopt the same views and attitudes towards certain things that are theirs and not yours. But what do YOU really think, feel and want from your life?
I have worked with many people who have never really thought about questioning their ‘conditioning’ – everyone’s is unique to their own but it is very important to sit back and reflect on what YOU actually believe in and who YOU actually are and want to be.
To get to a place where you are living with much more clarity and more aligned to who you really are and what you really want from your life is not always an easy journey. You will need to go back to go forward and then it’s the undoing of certain things in your life that are required – Undoing things in your life is much more challenging than learning something new but there is GOOD NEWS because once you undo certain beliefs, choices or habits you may have developed; it frees so much space up within you that you will find yourself evolving in ways you could have never imagined.
But how do you do this, I hear you asking… How do you become un-stuck?
The first step – it is important to identify certain patterns, choices and habits that you have or that you are living that DON’T SERVE YOU (perhaps by closing your eyes and taking some deep breaths in) and identify where these energies lie within your body. From this point, you need to face them by truly reflecting deeply on how they impact you and most importantly, where they have been born from.
I’m going to give you an example to help you get a better understanding…
As a child, I always found school really challenging. Not so much the social part but the learning part. I always felt like I couldn’t focus and learn in the way my class mates did and I didn’t know why. I never understood what the teachers were asking us to do and I found following basic instructions really hard. I got into trouble quite a lot because the teachers were always getting frustrated with me. It turns out that I have quite a severe type of dyslexia and unfortunately I was only tested for this when I was seventeen so my lack of self-confidence was pretty embedded by then. Thanks to my parents, they helped with my learning a lot so I at least got some relatively decent grades under my belt when I left for higher education but that didn’t matter to me because the damage had already been done. I told myself I was a failure and I’ve been telling myself that up until very recently, in fact just before I became a transformational coach.
I needed to really work with this ‘I am a failure’ belief which manifested itself into being a pattern and it had more power in my life than I could have ever imagined. It was constantly in my driving seat.
When I became an adult, I had many interests for many things but I had this immense belief that I was going to fail and therefore always started things but never finished them (of fear of failure). Of course this just contributed to an even greater downfall for my confidence and self-esteem.
When I choose to enrol in a transformational coaching workshop, this was the point in my life where it all changed. I realised this particular unhealthy pattern of mine and as a result dived into deep reflection and self-development work to concur this “I am a failure” belief/pattern. This workshop and later on with the help of a coach supported me to identify where, when and how this belief/pattern was born and they supported me to connect with the feelings attached to it.
The second step you need to take is to connect (again perhaps by closing your eyes and taking some deep breaths) with your most powerful parts of yourself and discover where these energies might lie in your body. So what I mean by this is where do you show up in a way that feels great to you and it feels aligned with who you truly are? It could be as small (but significant) as when you are doing yoga or when you are being a friend to someone. It could be you at your work or if you are a parent, it could be when you are in full action with your children. Wherever this unique place is for you, it is the key to release the other parts of yourself that might be stuck in patterns, beliefs or habits that don’t serve you, for example, ‘I am a failure’ or ‘I am not enough’ belief.
The third step is connecting these two parts of yourself together in order to create a new story with belief patterns that DO serve you. Once you have identified these two areas, you can access the wisdom that is within the most powerful parts of yourself questions about what the parts of you that are stuck in negative mind-sets needs to let go of this and manifest something new.
Of course this takes time and best done with a professional that knows how to guide you to become the you that’s hopefully full of new clarity and deeper knowing of self successfully. Contact me for a free 30 min consultation to see if transformational coaching is for you…